Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
