Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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