I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize