Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
