i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize