You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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