What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
