What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
