Already got asked if we're dating
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I can't turn off my feet"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
