She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
