O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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