I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
