So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
