I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize