I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
