I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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