my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
