the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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