He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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