Don't you send me to vm
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize