Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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