I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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