i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
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