There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I think people are normalizing furries
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
