No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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