return my video game
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Randomize
