I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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