He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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