new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize