ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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