Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
