Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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