Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
