I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I skipped work to stalk him.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
PANTIES FOUND
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