Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
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