Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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