I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
