TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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