So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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