Say something about gay babies.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
