you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
