New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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