Cold hands, warm shart.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
