Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
