im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Shame - the story of my life.
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