i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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