I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
