Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
