Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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