Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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