and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
