I'm jealous of your bromance
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
