Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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