So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
