I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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