what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
