Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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