I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
