i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
